Tag Archives: overwhelmed

Thursday’s Five & a Smaller Backlog

Today’s Five:

  1. Empty my desk, again.
  2. Get insulation in the cavity of the new wall so it can be sealed.DH did this Thurs. evening!
  3. Cut more sage and other such from the garden.
  4. Make up/try the Naval Academy brass polish.
  5. Work on the household journal. Thurs. 9:50

Wednesday:

  1. Clean off DH’s desk.
  2. Cull books from one “holding pattern” bookcases. Either they’re out or they stay!, in process Thurs. a.m.
  3. Work on the marble table. Thurs. 9 a.m.

Finish laundry room clean up.

Tuesday:

  • Weed the brick path around the veggie garden, edge it.
  • Move the lumber which needs it from the shed so it can be put away in the loft.
  • Work on grading the last pile of dirt.

Monday:

  • Put family photos in the album. Can’t be done. Photos located, album missing! 

Friday:

  • Examine winter coats for flaws, etc.
  • Do the last gather of flea market materials, last market is Saturday 10/14 date changed to 10/21

Thursday:

  • Put ice scrapers in the cars, examine and see if they need replacement?
  • Ship the box to the BIL, make up more boxes of things which should be shipped and get them sent!

Monday’s Backlog:

  • Clear stuff from my car and run a vac through at least part of it!
  • Move the paint as DH and I discussed.Thurs. 10:10 a.m.
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Tuesday’s Five & the Backlog

 

Tuesday’s Five:

  1. Weed the brick path around the veggie garden, edge it.
  2. Move the lumber which needs it from the shed so it can be put away in the loft.
  3. Clean another section of the sun room’s quarry tile. 7:30 p.m.
  4. Sweep the front door landing (outside).
  5. Work on grading the last pile of dirt.

Monday’s Backlog:

  • Put family photos in the album. Can’t be done. Photos located, album missing! 

Work on maintenance: desk/bath counter and new cleaning: laundry. Bath done noon, Tues. desk done 6:00 p.m. Tues.

Friday:

  • Examine winter coats for flaws, etc.
  • Clear off the dining room table again. In process. More work done Sun., but not complete! More work Tues.
  • Do the last gather of flea market materials, last market is a week from tomorrow.
  • Work on the household journal.Weds. 11:30 a.m.

Thurday:

  • Put ice scrapers in the cars, examine and see if they need replacement?
  • Ship the box to the BIL, make up more boxes of things which should be shipped and get them sent!

Wednesday:

  • Organize/Cull the cleaning products

Monday’s Backlog:

  • Clear stuff from my car and run a vac through at least part of it!
  • Work on the fabric storage again: cull and neaten.
  • Move the paint as DH and I discussed.

What’s not on this list: 4 or 5 loads of dishes, peppers steamed and frozen, recipe ready. Other peppers chopped and frozen. Roasted a chicken with veggies for lunch. Picked and sorted the chicken bits at dinner: carcass to stock making, picked meat some of it for dinner, veggies + stock + flour, milk, and seasoning = chicken goulash (dinner). DH put away the food after dinner, I did another load of dishes. Three loads of laundry, put the comforter back into the duvet. Took the cat to the vet. Went to the hardware store. Bought gas. Deleted about 1,000 unread promotional emails. Pulled a replacement crock out of the attic and some books to sell. Forgot! Tutored my student too.

 

Monday’s 6 & Last Week’s Backlog

It’s nice to see that I managed to get one day’s worth of chores done (Tuesday) finally, but there are still 10 more items which are undone! It’s raining as I type this, and that will further put off outdoor chores.

  1. Clean the cat food bin.10:30
  2. Inventory the filters, make sure there’s the needed amount of the right type.12:30
  3. Clean the drawer with rolling pin, etc. 11:00
  4. Put family photos in the album. Can’t be done. Photos located, album missing! 
  5. Inventory/examine/clean the items in the umbrella basket. Move seasonal items no longer needed to attic or other secondary storage.11:10
  6. Work on maintenance: desk/bath counter and new cleaning: laundry.

Friday:

  • Examine winter coats for flaws, etc.
  • Clear off the dining room table again. In process. More work done Sun., but not complete!
  • Do the last gather of flea market materials, last market is a week from tomorrow.
  • Work on the household journal.

Thurday:

  • Put ice scrapers in the cars, examine and see if they need replacement?
  • Ship the box to the BIL, make up more boxes of things which should be shipped and get them sent!

Wednesday:

  • Organize/Cull the cleaning products

Monday’s Backlog:

  • Clear stuff from my car and run a vac through at least part of it!
  • Work on the fabric storage again: cull and neaten.
  • Move the paint as DH and I discussed.

 

 

Morning Methods or Madness?

Not only is it MONDAY, so my brain is buzzing with all sorts of “things to be done,” but the construction people aren’t here, and there’s this huge back log. It’s also nearly FALL and so all the “delayed” and “put off” chores are screaming! at me.

Accordingly, my ADD tendencies have run amok this morning. I have worked on these items and finished the lined-through ones:

  • filing manuals, etc. for things we own.
  • cleaning out behind the washer/dryer Finished about 11:30 a.m.
  • culling/clearing out the top shelf of the small freezer
  • figuring out what I will use to replace the French door blinds
  • Researching how to do it.
  • Finding the fabric I already own for the curtains.
  • Figuring out a way to “put away” the scrub brush which went missing.
  • Figuring out a possible way to “put away” various roll goods: masking paper, Tyvek, shelf liner & weed cloth are the immediate needs
  • Work on clearing out the attic.
  • Work on cleaning up my office.
  • Laundry x 2 2nd load started around noon. Two loads done Tuesday as well.
  • Determining the trunk in the kitchen is still empty.
  • Figuring out another set of crates, etc. to take to the antique store as shelving.
  • Cull the clay flower pots — I have too many of course. Started about 2 p.m. but not yet finished. Worked on this Tuesday as well. Completed Sunday.

Still to do:

  • Go to the hardware store for a piece to determine if the method of hanging roll materials will work.
  • Clean the laundry room. Finished just before noon.
  • Make the bed.
  • Find the missing fabric and determine which piece will be used for the door curtains.
  • Clear out enough of the attic that the trunk can be moved from the kitchen up there. Enough of the attic was cleared Monday, but the trunk hasn’t been moved, yet.
  • Get the crates, etc. in my car and to the antique store. Completed Tuesday.

Going Down for the 3rd Time

I can’t do this.

No matter how much stuff I get rid of, there’s more. No matter how many books I get rid of (and I’ve been doing that for 13 years now, ‘eh?) there are still more.

It will never end.

I have (literally) gotten rid of 1,000s of items. And I’ve done it for years. I’m still drowning in stuff.

See? I can’t do this. It will never end.

The old storage unit still has stuff in it. I don’t have anywhere to put it. I don’t know what to do, donate boxes to Salvation Army tomorrow I guess. I have a bookcase in the old unit which came from S.A., I can donate it back. The library is taking books again. But that’s one piece of furniture, there’s at least 3. One of which has to come home (no room for it either). There’s about 25 boxes of books, maybe more still in the old unit. I have given away books every-single-day for the past 3 weeks. EVERY day. As few as 3 and as many as 3 boxes at once.

drowning

This isn’t quite as bad as figuring out I couldn’t beat the PTSD (or whatever it was, before I •knew* what it was) by just being stubborn and being willing to work at it, for 42 years to diagnosis, 50+ for most of the rest of it. So, the last piece, the very last piece is this stupid, neverending purge o’ crap, which believe it or not hurts on occasion, and is terrifying on occasion too. I do better and worse and I’ve kept going. I have been determined that I’d win — at least this battle.

But I think the abuser won instead? Can I just blow my brains out? (No gun.) You can bury me under a pile of books and papers and put on the headstone: she never actually accomplished anything and couldn’t finish anything, except her life. I really have no desire to commit suicide, but if suicide is the absence of pain, yes, that I DO want! How squishy does your brain have to be from beating it into the wall before you just give up?

Maybe the abuser was right after all? There just is something “not right” about me. I can’t do things.

Or maybe I’m just discouraged? I wonder why! And I suppose that tomorrow will be different. One of my largest life lessons was that I learned to “skate” when things are bad. Just let it go and don’t do anything permanent or dramatic: don’t break up a relationship, don’t hurt yourself, don’t drink & drive. Just find an emotional rabbit hole (for me that’s a book) and jump in, and hope you keep falling — at least until tomorrow. And tomorrow? Tomorrow you may find your life is completely different?

It usually is.

Let’s see, tomorrow starts in three hours. Can’t be here soon enough!

J

Note: Tomorrow, having come, isn’t perfect, but I’m not as overwhelmed as I was yesterday. Of course I didn’t sleep well, which never helps, but it is what it is.