What I need is a new focus or two. One, I think needs to be the finishing up the book projects and others which are midproduction. This includes the memoir, the kitchen book, the current anthology, and websites. The websites need to be purchased, so I suppose that’s the next step.
When I have something to sell, or a link to a website, I’ll post it here.
Otherwise, I’m seriously considering what to do when the memoir comes out. “Taking my emotional clothes off in public” is how I refer to the piece. There are two or three things which have to happen because of this: I need to do a reveal, those of you who know me in person “get” this, but I also need to protect me and mine from trolls and others both on the net and otherwise. Giving people a roadmap into the most tender part of yourself isn’t a recipe for people necessarily treating you well.
So, if you actually know me, in person, and are a friend rather than a professional contact or are both, you may get mail from the fictionalized me in the near future. I can’t contemplate having the memoir out or other projects with it, which may or may not happen, otherwise.
A new or different second focus needs to be home/hearth/health. Because of the abuse I endured, because of its ramifications on me as an adult, I’ve never really let myself focus on my home/hearth. Because of the “I don’t matter” attitude which is under much of everything, even still — I was brainwashed — taking care of myself physically is almost as much of a challenge as taking care of my hearth/home.
A third project is that I need something to DO, something to focus on outside of ME-ME-ME which was necessary for the past several years to deal with the PTSD. Okay, that’s mostly done. Now what?
I have no answers for all of this, just feel like they are directions I need to go. More exercise, working on the kitchen notebook will work on the house food/nurturing, the house clean-up is of course the hardest piece.
Does it sound like I’m REALLY sick of my stupid wounded childhood and how it affects the adult me? If not, I’m a much worse writer than I thought!