Category Archives: writing

I Have Been

Working hard — on the house. I’ve been following my cleaning plan.

It seems to me that a major shift is in order. Instead of trying to sell the memoir as a psych. program auxiliary piece, maybe what I need to do is sell the cleaning plan and make the memoir the back piece to that.

It would solve the problem of the memoir just not having a plot, being first-person, too short, and a mess of other issues. Of course, I still haven’t heard from my publisher, but my feeling is that I will not. Not now and not in the future. It will be as if it dropped into a black hole and vanished… poof!

This has completely stopped the work I was doing on the memoir. I had even talked to a friend about coding it for an ebook. Okay, fine.

I can’t sell the cleaning plan if I can’t use it, right? I can’t set myself up as an expert on anything unless I can actually DO whatever. (Well, that’s not true. These days the woods are full of blow-hard know-it-alls who make pronouncements about any and everything. EVERYONE is an expert, about anything they feel strongly about!)

But I was raised by someone who genuinely was an expert in his field. My brother is. My husband is too. I have been surrounded my entire life by men who are really good at their jobs, and became “experts.”

So I have standards about about what it takes to BE an expert:

  • You must know what you’re talking about.
  • You must be able to do something rather than just talk about the subject.
  • You must have some sort of track record, that is a history, of successfully being able to do whatever it is.

My dad taught aeronautics  and designed airplanes for 40 years, my brother has worked in his field for the same amount of time and he’s still teaching and writing about it, my husband has been in his field since the field started, about 30 years now.

Me? The only thing I’m expert in is the inner workings of my head. The memoir is 50 years of life & learning and took me 10 years to write. The cleaning plan started in one way when I started this blog in 11/2011. I’ve been whacking away at the problems since.

I couldn’t do the memoir until I did the trauma work.

I could write, but not use, the cleaning plan until I did the memoir.

So, we’ll see if the next step is what I want/hope it to be? That is, using the cleaning plan, make it  a habit, and a book and/or app is the next step. (Habits take 90 days to be established.)

I sure hope so! I don’t know that I have the patience to spend 10 more years on this project.

So, I’ve shifted gears. I was all set to publish the memoir, whack away at the cleaning plan, then when I finally got it to work, get it ready for publication.

Nope.

Doing it the other way around. Going to get the cleaning plan working,  finish up the writing related to it, get DH or someone to make the app I have in mind, then publish the CLEANING PLAN, with the MEMOIR as back material.

Then the lack of “plot” or “arc” or sex, drugs, rock n’ roll won’t matter. I’m not selling the memoir; it’s explanatory material, I’m selling the cleaning plan. Want to know why I set the cleaning plan up the way I have? Read the memoir and you’ll find out.

street signs

Image is not mine, not sure where I got it. Sorry!

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Slog, slog, slog. . . .

There’s 75% of another book box dealt with. The box of used checkbooks has been gone through and I filed what I could — I ran out of supplies.

There’s 2 boxes of books to be donated at the swap shop Wednesday. A sealed box to go to the storage for the flea market, whenever. Two partial boxes in the living room also for the flea market, one books, one not.

Progress of a sort.

Did a little writing, a very little writing.

Have I mentioned that I hate winter? Everything, or nearly everything, gets put on hold, or feels like it should be.

DH on the other hand, got the 2nd set of new lights up in the kitchen. Hurrah! I can actually see in there when I’m cooking!!!  And we talked about my problem with the current kitchen cabinets. I want to paint them. Partly because to me they always look dirty; even when I’ve just cleaned them. I dont’ mind cleaning things, but I purely HATE cleaning things which still look dirty afterwards!

Today I did laundry, dishes, the checks, and books. DH did dinner, we had leftovers, so it was just reheating. I was all prepared to cook, but he reminded me that we had pot pie to eat, so no cooking for me!

Slog, slog, slog . . . .

And so it continues. I’m tempted to quote Tolkien: “The road goes ever on . . . .”

end of road

Happy

  • YEAR of the Pig
  • Get organized, clean up your computer, and creativity MONTH
  • Science fiction and world introvert DAY!

(There’s more. Want more? Info here.)

So, I’ve been working on my organizer or getting ready to. I couldn’t find another PlanAhead Mother’s Organizer, and I tried. I won’t buy one at Amazon, forget that. I looked though the stores I will go to and didn’t find one. So, I’m back to DIY, again. I did buy a planner, but it;s a regular thing for appointments mostly.

I liked the mother’s organizer because it had columns for 5 kids. With me? That was 5 projects and I could carry things one step one day to the next step two days later on their weekly spread. It was great.

Multi-Day Projects This Month:

  • So, I have a planner/organizer designed, but not made. I’d already had that. So, this year I will actually make it as my first multi-day job.
  • Get the financial info together so that at the end of the month it’s all ready to go to the accountant. Unsure if I’ll make that, but it’s the goal!
  • Write a promised article. The deadline for that is 1/15, so it will probably be done before the financial info, which I can’t finish before all the paperwork from various places arrive.
  • Finish the storage move.

This morning I went through a box in my office full of china and glass pieces. Most are going away. Some of it was pieces I was missing and I wasn’t sure where I’d put them?

There are 2 boxes with pieces priced, boxes labeled and sealed — for the spring flea market. A 3rd is started.

There’s a crate of pieces going to the antique store when they get back from their year-end break.

I haven’t stopped what I’m doing, I just haven’t written about it much!

We’ll see how much I actually can do!

image from workitdaily.com via google images

In Limbo

I’ve been avoiding this place, because I’m ready to and have indeed done much of the work to split the two main topics into two blogs, well three.

Frankly, I’m waiting on  the publisher and I’ve been working on the house in my usual semi-organized way.

But none of the “next steps” can be done until one of three things happen:

  1. I decide to take the mask off I have here just because.
  2. I decide to do #1 because I have a publisher for the memoir and news about that.
  3. I get the house clean and the book finished about it, and have THAT book to promote.

I haven’t forgotten about this place. Have thought 100 times I should write a blog about a topic — but I’m not ready.

image from workitdaily.com via google images

(image from workitdaily.com via images.google.com)

After 10 years of work, from rough stories because I thought I might need an online memorial (had an operation in 2008) to more refined to yet more refined, to finally being far enough away from the stories that I could use my professional skills and pull a book together?

After 3 editors, 3-5 computers, 3 word processors, a file which was so corrupt it had to be retyped, etc. I am done.

And done in I think too, or maybe exhausted is just a better word?

Having the memoir done and knowing it’s pretty good has changed me in some weird fundamental way. I don’t really have anything else to say right now.

I’m done.

 

 

(But Happy holidays!)

And Counting

Sent note today, no answer, yet.

Sigh.

3 Days — and Counting

I asked my co-editor how long I should wait before I queried the publisher about the memoir. His answer? One month.

That’s 11/15, 3 days from now.

I really, really can’t think about this or it will make me bonkers. But inevitably, I AM thinking about it.

 

Fallout

I am surprised. I’ve had relatively little fallout/backlash from sending the memoir out to the publisher. Sending it to my writing group was worse. Every time I talk to someone about it or make changes someone sees, yes, it’s a little nutty. But… no screaming awake. No crying jags. No being pissed off and not knowing wtf is wrong.

There’s various pieces of consensus: there are still a few typos. There are some stylistic things I did which every single editor has pointed out. The last half isn’t as well written as the first.

That last didn’t surprise me at all. The first half is what took 10 years to write; it’s the map to my particular Hell. The last half was difficult because I just couldn’t see how to write it so it wasn’t a total bore. There’s a reason “They lived happily ever after.” is one sentence. But I needed to show the unraveling of the PTSD and healing that allowed that to happen. I needed to show that it wasn’t a straight line. I needed to illustrate that the process is not done and never will be.

That all took some doing. I only sort of really knew what book I was writing, what the arc of it really was when I sat down last month and decided to pull it together as I did. For one reason only. It had to be the best, most concise piece I could write and present to my publisher. I finally could look at it with my professional eyes, rather than through the lens of the wounded kid with PTSD.

I have no idea what happened that made that possible, but it was.

J