Category Archives: house decoration

Do NOT Keep Up with the Joneses

We have one neighbor who has 3 kids. The kids are grown and have left home, but show up periodically to help Mom and Dad do things around the house, build a deck and rebuilding their entry stairs most recently.

These people have a house which always looks great. Except that they spend all their spare time, both of them,  working on their home: weeding, mowing, planting, fertilizing, washing their cars. Their home is really nice.

At various times, I have adopted the attitude that I wanted our home to be as neat and tidy as theirs. Except I can’t. DH mows the lawn and occasionally helps me bag leaves, but the yard work is up to me. DH keeps his workshop up and will do day-to-day maintenance: dishwashing, laundry, catbox, etc. but the rest is up to me. I do not have 3 kids and their significant others or siblings or parents all of which my neatnik neighbors do. And all of whom come and help.

So there’s no way. As a pie in the sky standard? Yep, that’s fine. But I was doing yard work today and our yard is still largely unraked. The bulb bed is raked out, but only about 1/2 the leaves have made it to the dump. (The neatnik neighbors have a hill they can put leaves down; we don’t.) About 40% or less of our yard is raked. Less than 1/2 those leaves have been bagged up and taken to the dump. I had a cold, DH has one. It was pouring rain, etc. It will get done, but it gets done slowly here.

Makes me want to plant a lot more pine trees and get rid of some of the oaks! I have made the lawn smaller, put gravel in the walkways, so that it doesn’t have to be replaced so often. The bulb bed has mulch in it to help keep the weeds down, and I’m slowly but surely replacing the regular lawn with no mow grass.

But I am aging faster than the lower maintenance yard is taking hold. I need to do things more quickly. One thing we’ve talked about for a while and hopefully will do this year is gravel the driveway. That will make keeping the weeds out of it easier AND will help keep the dust down, which will keep the house cleaner.

We’ve already agreed we’ll paint the kitchen this year. It’s a lot of work, same process as painting the living room 3 years ago: lightly sand the wood walls, seal the knots, caulk, primer, sand, primer, sand, primer touch up, and paint.

We’ll probably paint the laundry room at the same time; it’s tiny and it’s wallboard, easy peasy compared to the varnished log walls!

The living room needs some touch up and the baseboards painted. We finally agreed on the baseboard paint last fall, and we’ll use it throughout the house.

scott-webb-120552-unsplash

Photo by Scott Webb on Unsplash

My office needs to be cleared out and painted too. But that will be easier than the kitchen because that room isn’t used all the time.

The attic clean out needs to be finished. We’ve agreed we’re going to put in knee walls and finish the space. I imagine this will probably be the unfinished piece this year. We have to clear out a huge space to do this, because everything has to come out of the attic. There’s nowhere to put the stuff in the house now, so it can’t happen yet.

Advertisements

Today…

We got the last of the old dining room rug free (it was under a heavy wardrobe in one corner), which is the next step in the redo the kitchen/kitchen storage project. We talked about replacing the light we’d decided we were going to sell and the next steps of that:

  • Getting the “new” shade out of the attic. Got both of them out, decided which one we’d use and which one was being sold. 5/1/19
  • Figuring out its dimensions and buying/mounting an appropriate pendant lamp kit. Tried 2 different ones, neither do we like the looks of. More search and procurement needed, along with returning the unwanted lamp kits.
  • Remove the old light and replace it with the new.

We also talked about our potential new broom closet, cleaning supply closet, and other items which are likely to be stored in and around the kitchen area.

More progress! It’s not a lot, but it’s progress.

So, Wednesday, ‘eh?

Today my new dining room rugs came. This meant that I had to:

  • ✔️Take the table apart so it could be cleaned throughly.
  • ✔️Clean the chairs throughly.
  • ✔️ Move the rug which was under the table. (It fills the room, the other 1/2 of it has still to be moved.)
  • ✔️ Unpacked the rugs when they came. They are different lengths. One of my money-saving strategies is that I buy runners or smaller rugs and lay them side by side. This doesn’t work when the rugs aren’t the same size. (I called the company, they are shipping me 2 more rugs and return labels for the two which came today.)
  • Oh yeah. I also cleaned the oven. Or rather I had the oven clean the oven!
  • And I made sausage/veggie soup for dinner.

DH, bless him, loaded the dishwasher after dinner.

This doesn’t sound like all that much, but it was a lot. The dining room is one isolated spot in the part of the kitchen which is storage. Boxes stacked 4 or 5 high.

Tomorrow? Tomorrow, so I can get the old rug outta there? I have to go through the boxes, etc. still on it. Then remove it.

The plan is to then put the rug into the attic. Which, you might have guessed, is full of boxes — mostly boxes of books. (Surprised? Well, no.)

 

Different

I have been reading a book I’ve had for some time, and only used before as a reference: Home Comforts by Cheryl Mendelson. She has this to say, which I found really mind-boggling:


“The sense of being at home is important to everyone’s well-being. If you do not get enough of it, your happiness, resilience, energy, humor, and courage will decrease. It is a complex thing, an amalgam. In part, it is a sense of having special rights, dignities, and entitlements — and these are legal realities, not just emotional states. It includes familiarity, warmth, affection, and a conviction of security. Being at home feels safe: you have a sense of relief whenever you come in and close the door behind you, reduced fear of social and emotional dangers as well as physical ones.” (page 7)


 

As an abused and neglected child, I had none of those things. Home was, as I have said elsewhere, the place where they knew how to put the (emotional) knife so it hurt the most. And, if a person wasn’t actively hurting me, they were wondering wtf my problem was? So, I have no expectation of safety at home.

I also have no experience of someone as she talks about caretaking a home as a way of showing love.

DH’s circumstances were different from mine, but his childhood home wasn’t happy and protective entirely either.

I have been for years trying to figure out what makes a place “home” and the most I could come up with was cozy and safe, so that’s what I’ve been heading towards decorating wise. But it has been an ongoing problem for me, because I want something I have never had, and decorating magazines and books just do NOT talk about how to create a home-like atmosphere.

And then there’s this:


“…what a traditional woman did that made her home warm and alive was not dusting and laundry. Someone can be hired to do those things (to some extent anyway). Her real secret was that she identified herself with her home.” (page 9)


And that I’ve never done.

The panic attacks happen in at least one predictable way, or used to. That was if I set up something to please myself. I was sure others would see what I did as laughable, stupid, or just wrong.

That’s a product of years of conditioning as a kid. It’s part of the cyclic rant: “Someone will break it. Someone will steal it. Someone will deride it or make fun of me,” that is the verbal side of my panic attacks.

Standing in front of a bookshelf with palms sweating and near tears, because I displayed some of my favorite things isn’t an experience I remember fondly, but it used to be common.

I identified myself not with the space I occupied, but internally. Inside was my only safe harbor.

I feel rather at sea in some ways. Years ago, my therapist told me to nurture the wounded kid inside me. I asked, “How?”

She looked at me and said, “If you’d had a kid, you would have learned, because your instincts and the child’s needs would have taught you. But you never had a kid. And you weren’t nurtured. I’ll have to think about that.”

And we came up with some answers, but not a lot. Although I don’t see myself as an uncaring person, frankly, I suck at relationships.

I ruin friendships, put off people, and always have. Some of it was being wounded, because I said inappropriate things, but much of it was just that I never learned how to build community, closeness, not really. I try hard. I try to have integrity. I try to be of use to the people I know, but I’ve never been sure I do it right, and think I screw it up, all the time.

The house is much the same sort of thing. It used to be that every time I did some new decorating thing or worked on cleaning the house, what I said to my husband was, “Are you mad at me?”

And although that’s pretty pathetic, it’s still the truth. These days, by contrast, what happens is that I’m grumpy. I was this morning, when I cleaned the kitchen.

You know? I’d really, really love to outgrow my childhood. Maybe by the time I’m 70?

 

Rugs! What, again?

Well, sort of. I think I found a source for 100% wool rug pads, no glue. Hurrah!

I ordered two. I have been looking for rug pads for a long, long time. I had a source, they folded. There are links here, years ago now, which I had to take out because the company was just gone.

We’ll see if this works!


Padding arrived today. (8/31) Looks great! Fellow who sold it to me said it will smell like wet sheep if it gets wet. DOH! Apparently, people complain. Why go to the trouble to buy 100% wool rug padding and then complain if it smells like untreated 100% wool?


 

Annoyed!

It seems this has become my place to “rant” about the minor irritations. This time it’s about thecompanystore.com .

I like this duvet or quilt, quite a lot. Enough that I’d consider buying it, although I have absolutely no need for it.

2018-rbook-fashion-bedding-min

Except that particular pattern doesn’t seem to be available.

How do people doing marketing and web stores think this does anything other than    PISS OFF THE CUSTOMER???

Yes, it’s pretty. Yes, you have a lot of other items.  None of which I want. I might not spend any $ for this, either. But now of course I won’t, and you’ve wasted my time. I went through all the bedding, quilts, comforters, and duvets looking for this. Why would I look at anything I saw which was interesting from you again???

Come on people, THINK!!!

More Rug Stuff

The blue slubby fabric for the stairs was returned by the seamstress a while back.  She made it more finished than I had in mind, which is both a good and bad thing. Good in that it may just wear longer. Bad, in that she put a seam down the middle of the piece and DH is concerned it will wear more quickly or be bulky there. We unrolled it down the stairs and I will say it looks stunning. The stairs need to be painted, first. I also need to decide if I’m doing stair rods or how I’m attaching the fabric, if not with stair rods.

The living room rug which was in front of the couch has been replaced with one of the new rugs. The replaced rug was made by the Mennonite Committee from old blue jeans. I don’t have a designated place to put it. Now I have too many rugs, or too many rugs I’m not sure where they’ll go — of course!

There are:

  • The 2 newest rugs (which match the living room rugs). These are runners.
  • the blue jean rug. This is a runner.
  • a rug made from old saris I bought used two years ago. This is a very long runner.
  • the dining room rug. This is NOT a runner!

I started this post before we’d found the new living room rugs, and solved that part of the problem. Obviously, I like runners!

The other issue, that of the stair rug? It doesn’t have a solution yet either.

So I solved the living room rug dilemma, but created another or added to it. That’s the way it goes around here!