Category Archives: future plans

Action Items

I’ve been whacking away at the various piles of boxes in the bedroom. I’ve created some clear floor space and stuffed our swap shop/recycling bins. Today is a dump day —

Hurrah!

Another thing we’ve been doing for some time is replacing and upgrading what we can, as we can. This is prepatory to either selling this place or retiring here. We probably won’t have money to replace the roof, upgrade windows, etc. when DH retires, and so the updates need to be done beforehand. We’ve been doing a big item every few years, and little stuff between. We pay off one big item, then do the next. We started this years ago.

We found some LED lighting on sale just before Christmas, and DH has been busy installing them. Our favorite type of upgrade: it replaces the badly done, dead cheap, marginal stuff which came in the house with something we can 1) afford 2) is cheaper to operate 3) will function more productively and 4) looks better than what we’ve lived with for years.

What we got when we bought this place were shop lights, hidden with cheap plastic grids. They looked awful, didn’t light the room well, and the plastic grids disintegrated all over the counters — just what you want in your food: bits of oxidizing plastic!

(We took down those grids right after we moved in.)

Shop lights are not my idea of attractive kitchen lighting. Picky, I know.

Especially when they’re on the ceiling of a post/beam room. The available lights were in a hole, the light was blocked by the beams, right? So the fixtures looked awful, didn’t function well and have been on our “Replace This” list nearly since the day we moved in!

The new lights are suspended from the beams, no blocked light! Also, light where it’s needed. What a pleasure!

 

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Happy

  • YEAR of the Pig
  • Get organized, clean up your computer, and creativity MONTH
  • Science fiction and world introvert DAY!

(There’s more. Want more? Info here.)

So, I’ve been working on my organizer or getting ready to. I couldn’t find another PlanAhead Mother’s Organizer, and I tried. I won’t buy one at Amazon, forget that. I looked though the stores I will go to and didn’t find one. So, I’m back to DIY, again. I did buy a planner, but it;s a regular thing for appointments mostly.

I liked the mother’s organizer because it had columns for 5 kids. With me? That was 5 projects and I could carry things one step one day to the next step two days later on their weekly spread. It was great.

Multi-Day Projects This Month:

  • So, I have a planner/organizer designed, but not made. I’d already had that. So, this year I will actually make it as my first multi-day job.
  • Get the financial info together so that at the end of the month it’s all ready to go to the accountant. Unsure if I’ll make that, but it’s the goal!
  • Write a promised article. The deadline for that is 1/15, so it will probably be done before the financial info, which I can’t finish before all the paperwork from various places arrive.
  • Finish the storage move.

This morning I went through a box in my office full of china and glass pieces. Most are going away. Some of it was pieces I was missing and I wasn’t sure where I’d put them?

There are 2 boxes with pieces priced, boxes labeled and sealed — for the spring flea market. A 3rd is started.

There’s a crate of pieces going to the antique store when they get back from their year-end break.

I haven’t stopped what I’m doing, I just haven’t written about it much!

We’ll see how much I actually can do!

image from workitdaily.com via google images

No More!

For seven years, well, more than that, I’ve been writing about culling things, getting rid of things, and learning to cope with the panic attacks, PTSD and other related dramas.

I’m totally sick of this! So, I have a NEW life goal, well sort of. It’s to get past all the stuff and see what else there is to do?

To that end, I have:

  • Told the antique store I’ll be leaving mid-February.
  • Talked to another antique shop about buying a few pieces.
  • Decided that whatever I keep for the spring flea market I will price before I box it up, so all I have to do in March or April is load it into a car and take it to the market.
  • Decided what things here need to be wholesaled?
  • Decided to have a sale at the antique store, running from 1/1 – 2/15. Half off the big pieces and heavily discounted “get organized” pieces: bins, baskets, etc.

Hopefully, by the end of April I’m done, or if I’m not done, that the pieces still here are designated to go to that consignment shop, this auction, or whatever.

No more!

house with bookcase.jpeg

(via images.google.com . I picked this because of the bookcase. The images with 2 items on a shelf are NOT realistic for us, both collectors and readers!)

Benchmarks along the way:

  1. Completing the move into the smaller storage unit.
  2. Closing that unit.
  3. Removing the bedroom boxes. (in process 12/27/18)
  4. Removing the kitchen boxes.
  5. Clearing enough from the attic that the bays can be built.
  6. Clearing enough from the porch so that we can walk from the corner to the door the long way instead of the way it is now, along the drip edge of the roof.
  7. The shed is culled.
  8. The wood shed is culled.
  9. There’s no misc. stuff stored in the crawlspace.
  10. Nothing queued in the living room to go out.

That’s a lot to do in four months, but like I said, I’ve had it! Two things will limit this:

  • If the PTSD/panic starts up so badly I can’t cope.
  • If physically I am causing myself pain from the work.

 

Wimp

I wimped out. I was supposed to have a colonoscopy and endoscopy this week. I cancelled it.

Why? Because my PTSD brain had decided that I would die under the anesthesia. Crazy, right? But it wouldn’t go away. Every time I did anything about the procedure, it would show up, again and again.

Don’t tell me it’s irrational. Thanks I know that already.

I got tired of crying about it.

Also, different than in years past? I didn’t grit my teeth and just do whatever, so that others wouldn’t know I was scared or think less of me. I was scared and yeah, you can think less of me if you want; I have no control over that anyway.

For one of the few times in my life about something pretty big, I let myself wimp out.

Different? Yes. I kept telling myself it was no big. I kept telling myself it was my crazy PTSD, anxiety-ridden brain going off the deep end.

It wouldn’t go away.

Finally? I was supposed to watch this 40 minute thing for the hospital this morning, and that put me over the edge.

So I wimped out.

On the one hand, it’s nice because I’m actually being honest. (Unlike all the times from dissecting a frog in high school, to almost anything else, up to and including submitting the memoir to a publisher, because I thought others would think less of me if I didn’t.)

And, the pay off? I’m pretty sure if I wasn’t dead, it wouldn’t have been a big deal. But if I was? Well, it’s hard to write and live this life then ‘eh?

And I want a chance to do that living. I owe DH a clean house. I owe myself the chance to see what, if any, impact the memoir can have. I want that. I want to see what kind of other life I can have!

panic

But there’s a large part of me that’s saying “I’m done.” The work which started when I was born 3 months premature, fighting for my life, is complete. And, if I’m really, truly going to be honest here? That’s what really scared me. I wasn’t sure if they put me under I’d  want to come back. So, I blamed the medical profession, but it was just me.

You know? I have no idea who I am if I’m not fighting. And I’m not, not really any more.

Maybe I’ll get a chance to grow up/grow past the stupid childhood before I’m 70? You think?

In Limbo

I’ve been avoiding this place, because I’m ready to and have indeed done much of the work to split the two main topics into two blogs, well three.

Frankly, I’m waiting on  the publisher and I’ve been working on the house in my usual semi-organized way.

But none of the “next steps” can be done until one of three things happen:

  1. I decide to take the mask off I have here just because.
  2. I decide to do #1 because I have a publisher for the memoir and news about that.
  3. I get the house clean and the book finished about it, and have THAT book to promote.

I haven’t forgotten about this place. Have thought 100 times I should write a blog about a topic — but I’m not ready.

image from workitdaily.com via google images

(image from workitdaily.com via images.google.com)

After 10 years of work, from rough stories because I thought I might need an online memorial (had an operation in 2008) to more refined to yet more refined, to finally being far enough away from the stories that I could use my professional skills and pull a book together?

After 3 editors, 3-5 computers, 3 word processors, a file which was so corrupt it had to be retyped, etc. I am done.

And done in I think too, or maybe exhausted is just a better word?

Having the memoir done and knowing it’s pretty good has changed me in some weird fundamental way. I don’t really have anything else to say right now.

I’m done.

 

 

(But Happy holidays!)

And Counting

Sent note today, no answer, yet.

Sigh.

3 Days — and Counting

I asked my co-editor how long I should wait before I queried the publisher about the memoir. His answer? One month.

That’s 11/15, 3 days from now.

I really, really can’t think about this or it will make me bonkers. But inevitably, I AM thinking about it.