Category Archives: cleaning

Today

DH is working on upgrading the electrical system on his motorcycle. He helped me with some of the leaf moving (rake, then relocate). Later today, we’re off to the storage to work on that.

There are probably more books here ready to be gotten rid of. I gave one  to a neighbor. Have another to ask a second neighbor about and the yard is tidier than it was. All good.

The fertilizer I used up (we’d had it for 2 years, why?) was rained on for the next two days. A lot of it went into the bulb beds, and the daffs. and other bulbs are shooting up green sprouts all over the place. Partly because it’s time, but partly because they got fertilized just as they were starting their spring push. The rain was a blessing for them.

So we need to buy more mulch for the bulb bed to keep out the weeds (grass), but the bulbs should spread out quite a bit this year because of the timely fertilizer and rain.

I’ve been working on the spring/summer food/garden plans,  Between the farm we belong to and the garden I grow (sometimes, didn’t last year) we are usually drowning in green stuff by June. I want a better plan for what comes in/when and what I intend to do with it this year! I’m about 25% done with this piece. Finished the initial data gather yesterday. Pulling it together.  There are 2 or so more data gathering steps before I can make an actual plan, but it should get there.

Off to the storage — ho!!!!

J

We took a file box full of books and a few besides to the market which has the book bin. Gone! I have gone through one box since we got home and have started the 2nd. There’s about 10 more books in a bag to be donated, wherever it is we go next that will take them.

Worked on Storage, Yesterday

Intend to do more, today. And yet more, tomorrow. I may have to rent a tiny unit to take the furniture. I’m not sure if the antique store has a place for furniture in its new location. If not, then pieces need to be hauled to auction, sold otherwise, or given away. (Purged books from the house today instead.)

We are getting a new back roof this year and maybe some storage space along with it. However, it will NOT be filled with boxes of books. If I bring the stuff home and it just sits here, I have only gained the price of the storage. And the price of the addition has to be considered in there too. The difference of course is that an additional utility area adds to the value of our home, not just a landlord’s bottom line. But as we’re talking about it right now, it will be a much bigger undertaking than we’d originally planned.

I still have WAY too much stuff. My ultimate goal this year is to have NO storage unit by 12/31 and be able to sanely (no box stacks, except perhaps in the attic) store what we keep. There’s a huge amount of stuff to shed between us and that goal, but I’m really tired of hauling things back and forth, trying to sell them or determine what happens to them. I don’t need the camouflage anymore and I’m tired of drowning in stuff!

stuff stacks

I have no idea how well we can manage this. All I can do is try!

J

Took a box to the dump’s swap shop today. Also wrote notes to booksellers, collectors, etc. who are friends. Were they still interested in x or y or z type of book? If so, exactly what did they want? Got answers, Am getting a list together.  More stuff gone. Also, will have a way to sell the best of the stuff it looks like. Hurrah!

Crunch Time

We’ve pared down the stuff and space and stuff, and space. . . .

And now? We have too little space for what’s left. I have a bag of books to go out hanging on the front door knob. I have 4 boxes of books to go through before I leave here today, with the idea that I remove whatever other bags of books that generates.

Also today I’m supposed to finish up the move from the old storage unit to the new, smaller one. And it’s going to be tight, sigh.

boxes

Crunch time indeed.

Flow or No

Whether it is because of the PTSD or otherwise, I tend to work in spurts or fits and starts. I keep thinking I should just be able to schedule something for a few hours, I can, but mostly don’t.

I need to accept that the abuse, panic attacks, and PTSD all make a regular schedule very difficult, if not impossible, as much as I’d like otherwise.

I need to stop fighting this and just accept it as the way I flow, period. I think when/if I can do that, the panic attacks or vestiges of them will lessen dramatically. It’s my belief that the panic is due largely to people being able to “see” what I’m doing or have done. I have a lot fewer problems, like nearly none, when I’m working for other people. This is only the stuff I do at home.
fits & starts2
Can I repeat, again, how much I really, absolutely hate the woman who abused me? It totally sucks to have your brain be your main enemy. It sucks more to view any finished project as something which will be attacked, belittled, or sneered at, whether it’s a clean kitchen counter or an art work. This just makes getting anything done a real challenge. [And I needed more of those, right?]

P.S. Reading this, I realized t’s wrong. I don’t hate her. I hate what she did to my brain. If it wasn’t that no matter how much work I do, this will be with me forever, I would have very few feelings about here at all.

She’s gone, her daughter is gone. The memories of what she did just make me feel sorrty: for her that she could be so nasty, her daughter and myself because she felt it necessary to emotionally attack two innocent little girls,, who grew to be wounded women because of it. It was just a waste.

Why You’ll (Maybe) Hear G & S at My House

I have an itunes recording of “When the Foeman Bares His Steel” from Gilbert & Sullivan’s Pirates of Penzance on my computer. I will set the controls to repeat it as a loop. When I’m alone (and only then) I will turn the volume up and

—-GO!—–

I clean house to it. I love that piece because, musically, it is the internal dialog that all of us go through when we face something difficult.

There are three main groups singing: the policemen and their sergeant (who’ve been tasked with going after pirates), the girls (daughters of the major general) and the major general.

The Police: “When the foeman bares his steel, we uncomfortable feel. . .”

When facing anything scary, we’re uncomfortable.

“…we find the wisest thing is to slap our chests and sing tar-an-tara!”

We do what we we have to, to get ourselves psyched to do whatever it is.

“…when your heart is in your boots, there’s nothing brings it ’round like the trumpet’s martial sound, like the trumpet’s marital sound. . . tarantara, tarantara, tarantara.”

We play inspirational music, read things, go to places, whatever works, to goad ourselves forward, right?

The girls: “Go, ye heroes, go to glory,though you die in combat gory, ye shall live in song and story. Go to immortality!”

Don’t we all tell ourselves we’re doomed to fail? But if nothing else, someone might just notice how hard we tried?

The sergeant: “Though to us it’s evident, these intentions are well meant, such expressions don’t appear, calculated men to cheer. But it’s very evident these intentions are well meant.”

Our internal reasoning.

The girls: “Go to glory and the grave! For your foes are fierce and ruthless, false, unmerciful, and truthless; young and tender, old and toothless,all in vain their mercy crave.”

You’re going to fail. You can’t do this. How many times have we told ourselves that? (Too many to count, if you’re me.)

policeman pirates of penzance

Lastly, there is the internal dialog steeling yourself to actually DO the thing:

General: “Away, away!

Police: “Yes, yes, we go!”

General: These pirates slay!”

Police: “Tarantara!”

The General: “Then do not stay.”

Police: “Tarantara!”

General: “Then why this delay?”

Police: “All right we go.”

Girls: “Yes, forward on the foe.”

Police: “Yes, forward on the foe. ”

General: “Yes, but you don’t go!”

Police: “Yes, forward on the foe.”

Girls: “At last they go.”

Police: “We go, we go.”

Girls: “At last they go, at last they go!”

Police: “We go. We go.”

Girls: “At last they really, really go!

Police: “We go, we go, we go!”

Office 1.1

Did more organization in the office. Had a loose file folder or two, looked through them. We need our copy of a w2 from 1997 why? I had the very first one I had ever gotten, from the 1970s. OMG.

Out they went!

That was an easy (and fast) 25 papers into the shred/dump bins! If there’s more of that sort of thing in my office, it will be a snap to clear out. The first shelf was cleared/organized. The second is about 1/2 done.

The last time I reorganized/cleared my office was when I first started this blog and took pics of all the bead containers in pop crates in the bookshelves. My current plan (after I get the bookshelves in the closet dealt with and the filing cabinet) is to cull/clean/clear off the bookcase which has all the beads and pop crates. Not sure what I’ll keep?

I started in the closet. For years when I wanted to clean something, I’d clean a closet or cabinet, so it couldn’t be seen. I don’t think this was because of that — all the interesting paper was in the closet, in a mess. So, I started in a closet, again. I’ve gotten through the interesting big pieces and started going through/culling the books and magazines, which take up more than 1/2 the bookcase. The goal is for them to take up 1/4th of the case, one shelf. We’ll see if I can do that!

Yesterday we went to a funeral and did some antiquing on the way home. Bought nothing, just looked. Today is dump day, so more stuff (if nothing else the recycles) will go away.

Nearly Done

with the taxes, or as much of it as I need to do actual work (not just getting data from the town, bills, or the checking account say). And I realized that I need a project. . . something fun, creative, and that will engage me for a few days, at least.

Not knitting. This feels like a paper, paint, markers, printer sort of thing.

What? I don’t know. I have the 1/2 finished bullet journal plan — that would be good. I had finally gotten to the “admission” that I wasn’t going to get what I wanted on my own. I need to pay someone to do the final art work. I know what I want, but I just don’t have the skills to make the pieces to my satisfaction.

Being able to actually use the bullet journal, rather than planning the planner, journal, diary, and calendar would be very helpful.

I have the stalled fabric rug to work on. (Not paper, that’s out.)

If I’m going to work with paper, I need the counter in my office clean and cleared. One reason the bullet journal is in the state it is? I have nowhere to easily lay out the pages. It would be most helpful to be able to use the counter I already have.

craft-room

(No, this isn’t my office, but it could be! Mine is just as full of stuff and equipment and cluttered. This image, like most of them in this blog, is from images.google.com . )

Cleaning up my office will take a week, minimum. It has been a “dumping ground” for too long. Its bookcases are slated to be moved to the attic this spring, and the counter and drawer units moved in the room, so we might be able to get a guest bed in there?

I think this is a really good idea. The living room/kitchen project is stalled until DH finishes the window/shelf unit thing. But that’s stalled because there’s a piece of furniture which needs to be put up for sale/removed first. That’s stalled because the antique store is moving the middle of March, and I already have a piece of furniture for sale there (you get to sell 1 at a time.) Soooo. . . .

Working on my office as a “next step” makes sense. Sigh. It’s always been one of the coldest rooms of the house and it’s February, right? I can’t leave the door open because the small cat thinks pushing things off of shelves/counters is fun. (She’s broken several things in my office already, so she is NOT allowed in there!) Sigh.

On the other hand, if I start this and interleave it between the remaining accounting/tax gather, I will not have to spend hours in a cold room without end. I can use short pieces of time and then go back to the paperwork — and get both done.

When I get the counter cleared, I can write up/show (I hope?) what I want to the graphics art person. It’s a plan!

I get one more cuppa coffee today. I’m off to get it and then start to plot out what has to happen in my office, first.