Some are just heralded by phone calls.
Today my life programming got turned on its head. This has happened to me once before, with DH and my therapist. But I thought, “Both of them have a huge amount of time and energy invested in my well being,” and although what happened was revolutionary, I couldn’t ignore it, but it didn’t cause a sesimic shift.
Today just might.
At one point or the other we had 4 neighbors here, raking, etc. and keeping DH company.
One neighbor’s son split and restacked the 8′ wood pile which had fallen last winter. His dad dismantled the rack and told me what I needed to buy so it could be used again. I was offered cabbage salad (good, even though cabbage is NOT my fave). And, and….
One neighbor asked me to call and asked how I was and I said, “Near tears.” and it wasn’t because anything was bad, it was because there had been people here, almost all day, doing things for us.
Frankly, yes, I was worried how we’d get through winter with DH partially disabled. He’s fine, he stopped taking anything that wasn’t over the counter when he left the hospital > a week ago now, but he’s not his normal self, yet.
And here were all these people, raking, helping me move boxes, splitting and stacking wood, etc.
A part of me went numb. That same part had the past two days been looking for the “gotcha,” the catch, because there had to be one, right?
Except there isn’t.
We’ve been here for 25 years+. I try hard to be the neighbor I’d want to have. And I realized today that I discount all of that, because I do it without thinking about it most of the time. But I guess it does count.
The echo from my past is several things:
“No one who really gets to know you will want to admit it.”
“No man will ever love you.”
“Whenever anyone is nice to you, they’re just being polite.”
etc. etc. ad nauseum.
And today cried BULLSHIT to all of that!!!
Not all revolutions have guns.
I changed the image, this one seems to work much better!