Progress, Plans & PTSD

Had a major breakthrough re: the organization of the cleaning plan this  morning. A way to sort things has been niggling at the back of my mind for some time, and I’ve tried to work it out and tried and tried — and knew what I did was wrong, but couldn’t see how.

Came up with the answer this morning. After I finally saw what it was, it was so obvious I’m surprised it took me so long! That makes my major accomplishment as of 9:15 a.m. something no one will see until I get the house clean and the plan thing written up, etc. That will be some time yet.

My helper and I discussed having him work on the memoir yesterday and came to the conclusion that there just isn’t an easy way for him to do the work. We also discussed the 5 writing projects I want to finish writing before I die: the memoir, the cleaning plan, the kitchen book, and the two unfinished short stories. I have a few magazine articles and other small pieces, but those 5 are the long-term projects.

The house has to be cleaned first. The stuff gets in my way and makes the other projects more complicated.

The asst. boxes were shoved into a corner for the chimney inspection in the living room. My helper and I started working on the boxes of books in the bedroom yesterday. Progress exists — but it’s too slow, as usual!

I am making myself go slowly:

  1. My shrink has retired, so I need to manage my stress. I have no back up to lean on emotionally if things get bad, so the answer to that is to not let them get bad to start with.
  2. I don’t want the PTSD flashback, the anxiety, etc. that going full bore has always brought with it.
  3. I don’t yet know if the breakthrough I had is enough to keep the flashback, anxiety, etc. from surfacing.
  4. Many of my ideas for decorating the house need money. That of course is in limited supply. (I think this is always true, for everyone.)

Because things were shoved to one side in the living room, I’m about to start the sanding on the wall behind the wood stove. More progress on that front! There is the end of the wall the wood stove sits on and one other small piece which has no wall board on it to do prep for. Then prime, sand, prime — and then PAINT! Seems like this has taken a long time, which it does, when you work on something in fits & starts. But progress counts.

Something new, we got some new flooring yesterday at the Habitat ReStore. Not sure exactly where it will be used, but we have started the discussion. The pantry could use a new floor as could the laundry room. The sun room, the new entry (if we do it) and/or the new kitchen are all possibilities. We don’t have enough floor to do all that. So we’ll see what happens.

The most pressing is the laundry room. It has laminate in it. It’s cheap and we’d opened the packages. Found out the problems with all of that. Cheap laminate doesn’t fit tightly after it’s opened. Cheap laminate, if there’s any problems at all, doesn’t fit. So, the laundry room floor looks better than the badly painted plywood beneath it (the way  it was when we bought the house), but it isn’t anything like what we want, that is, well done and looking good. It’s much better than it was, but that’s the best that can be said for it.

Re: the stress, PTSD, etc. associated with the cleaning? So far, I’m good. With luck it will stay that way!



2 responses to “Progress, Plans & PTSD

  1. I think you’re really going like a house afire here, and the symptom of it is that you are working on short stories. That requires the mind to be freed up, at least a little. Your mind may not yet be completely free, but at least you’re letting it out of its cage at times, so it can flit around – Linda K.

    Linda Tiernan Kepner

  2. Well, I’m trying! Seems awfully slow, but I’m impatient to start the next phase of my life after 50+ years centered on the kid crap. Time to do something (Dare I say?) adult. What a change that would be!!!

    Thank you for the kind words, as always. We’ll have to have breakfast or something sometime. Not tomorrow, car is in the shop.

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