This one is for decluttering the house, rather than the structure. If you look at the last post I determined that that structure itself and the asst. stuff which floats around the house are my two biggest challenges. When I was making up today’s checklist I quickly realized that I had ONE category of “stuff” in every single room:
That is, items which were out of place or have no place to be put away.
This one is set up monthly, and until the house gets actually cleaned and organized, I’m going to try and tackle at least 2 of the functional areas (I call them rooms; you wouldn’t.) of my home a month. I don’t know if this will work or lean on the PTSD too much, but I’m going to try it. It helps that the laundry room has been done already once this month. It needs freshening up still , but that’s matter of an hour or two rather than a day or two!
(Image from image.google.com)
If/when I get through with the dining room, there will be my two rooms for the month. That means I can either keep going or stop — and that will let the PTSD calm down a bit if it’s needed.
I’ve found that more than 1/2 of dealing with the PTSD is management. As much as I hate it sometimes, well a lot of times, there just isn’t any way around it that I’ve found. The only way I can do this, or do any change which significantly alters the protective structures I’d set up as a small kid, is to go in fits & starts.
It makes me frustrated as can be at times, but that’s what it is. My body needs time to be sure the new behavior, whatever it may be, isn’t dangerous. So, I have to make the change, then stop, wait to see if it seems okay, then continue with the change, then stop for a shorter amount of time, then continue, then stop . . . until I don’t have to stop anymore. Changing your habits takes a long, long time this way. But, if you’re me, then the changes can “take,” instead of coming and the going, usually accompanied with a large dose of forgetfulness or a type of amnesia I guess, about the new behavior.
This is one of the main reasons why it has taken me so long, 50+ years, to deal with the kid crap. Having people tell me to “grow up,” or “Give it to God,” or “get over it” isn’t helpful because I can’t change how fast my body processes new behavior. And, because the trauma is a small child’s, in my case there is no rationalization possible. It’s pain/terror or nurture. Not much else. I don’t know how this compares with people who got PTSD as adults. I don’t know what it’s like if your body remembers other ways as a significant part of your life. Sometimes I think it might be better and at times I’m sure it’s worse, but I don’t know in any case!
More to do . . .
Here’s a link to the wiki definition of the terms I named this post after btw: (link)