Monthly Archives: May 2016

Should Have Stood in Bed

Okay, I picked up food at the farm. Small share this time, as it’s the beginning of the season:

I got radishes, spinach, 2 lettuces, and rhubarb.

I stopped at the market (go right by it) on the way home and bought:

2 avocados

1 small watermelon.

The plan was my favorite hot weather meal, requires no cooking:

spinach, lemon, avocado soup (served cold)

with salad:

watermelon, chives (original recipe had onions, but I have chives in the yard), mint and an oil & vinegar dressing.

Both things I’ve made many, many times  before. No cooking. Easy.

The best laid plans.

Except I forgot that I don’t use the food processor for the soup. I forgot (somehow) how to pick out avocadoes (a skill I’ve prided myself in since oh, high school?), and I forgot that although the soup requires no cooking, it can be messy, if you’re not careful.

Disaster on disaster.

First, I couldn’t remember how to use the food processor attachment. My brilliant spouse fixed that.

Okay. Put the washed spinach in, and get chopped spinach. Hm. Not what I had in mind.

Add lemon juice, one avocado, run some more, nope. I have a little guacamole, with lots of roughage. Nope. Okay. Put it all in the blender.

Soup — at the bottom of the jar, underneath most of the 1 lb of chopped, not liquified spinach.

Decide I should add the 2nd avocado. I CAN’T get it to separate? After a lot of work, I get the rock-hard flesh outta the shell.

Take all the “almost soup” out of the blender, add the avocado rock stuff and a little water. Buzz.Still hard. Small pieces, but hard.

Okay. Scoop that out. ( I tossed it, would you want to eat crunchy avocado “sand”?) Put the guac + 1 pile shredded spinach back into the blender . Buzz. Add a little water. Repeat until very thick soup/liquidy guac is all that’s in the bottom of the blender. Add salt & pepper. Call DH to come and get his ‘soup.’

The watermelon was cut in half and we ate it plain.

Are you kidding after the disaster of my 5 ingredient soup which is supposed to take 10 minutes or less to make? After spending an hour on the “easy” soup, I was afraid to pick up a knife, much less make watermelon salad.! [DH must have agreed; he cut the watermelon, served it and did the dishes, all without saying a word.]

Recipe: For two adult/main course servings. (Original recipe from 10 minute cooking book, I’ll have to dig it out for the source, sorry, can’t find it online right now.)

2 avocados, juice of 1 -2 lemons (you need at least one), 1 lb spinach, salt & pepper to taste, water as req’d. (I think the original recipe has Tabasco in it too?)

I use the stems and all of the spinach, omitting any brown or nasty bits. To do this in an organized fashion (not like my disaster above).

Clean the spinach, cut the stems off the leaves. Cut the lemon in 1/2 and remove the seeds (I zap the lemons in the micro for 10 seconds then cut in 1/2 and squeeze over a small strainer.) Cut the avocado in 1/2, take out the pit, chunk the flesh.

Put the lemon juice in first, then add the spinach in batches. Add the avocado. Add  a very little water if needed. Season with salt & pepper to taste.

Then I decided I wanted a little ice cream before bed. I have bad wrists, I zap my ice cream 10 seconds too. Started to wipe down the counters. .  . the micro is still going? My ice cream is *boiling*??? Tastes fine, it’s coffee ice cream after all, but. After tonight? I’m going to be afraid to even pour myself  a cup of coffee tomorrow morning.




A Diary, Of Sorts

(Monday and Tuesday) yesterday differed from what I’d intended (Doesn’t it always?).

  • I did get the larger piece of wall primered, but not the smaller one.
  • I did wash the trashcans which had been gathered and patiently awaiting their baths.
  • I did some work for my job.
  • I also did dishes and laundry.
  • I did add the newly found stock to the accounting.

primered wood wall

  • I didn’t get the freezer clean out finished.
  • I didn’t make cherry muffins.
  • I didn’t get the new appliance cleaned.
  • I didn’t get a bleach load done.
  • I didn’t get the accounting spreadsheet updated.

Today’s plan?

  • Finish the piece for work. Worked on, not finished.
  • Bleach load at laundromat.
  • Return library book.
  • Call the accountant/deliver paperwork.
  • Pick up food at the farm.

farm field

And of course, the normal maintenance: dishes & laundry.

Not exactly what I had in mind!


  • Doctor’s Appt.
  • Work for a friend
  • Work regular job Again, large project not finished, but progress.
  • Finish primering front wall. Same as work project. Not finished, but I made progress.

The usual: dinner, laundry, dishes. DH found the frozen burritos. We had those. Yeah! Less in the freezer, no extra $ spent and it was quick. After driving all over and working on various and sundry all day, I was ready to not need to actually cook.

Not sure how much if any of the dishes and laundry was done. I know there isn’t a mountain of dirty dishes in the kitchen, so obviously at some point, they were washed.

Laundry? Not sure.


I helped a friend at her shop most of the day.

Did maintenance stuff, and that’s all otherwise.


I sanded the primer which needed it.

My helper taped all of the remaining trim on the short wall.

We tidied up the table and the laundry room.

We packed up all the bits & pieces I have to take to the new booth and put them in the car.

We cleaned the bottom shelf of the freezer. (What remains: the bins and wiping down the walls.)

Called the accountant. Paperwork will be delivered Monday.

Partial update on accounting spreadsheet.


I started cleaning the new appliance.

I bleached out the large empty trashcan

Went to the town festival (an annual thing)

Weed whacked around part of the lawn/beds (I can’t do it for a long period of time. The way the thing is made stresses my carpal tunnel and pinched nerve all at the same time.)

Started some of the laundry backlog.

laundry pile


We went to the dump.


I get to paint, well, paint with primer, the corner I started with the other day! Also I need to finish the freezer clean out. The food is culled, but I dropped the ball at the end, need to wipe down the walls, arrange the food neatly on the bottom shelf and in the bins. Not much, but it wasn’t *finished* either.

And of course I should then start the refrigerator clean out. Maybe I will or maybe I won’t . . .? Have work things to do, actually have enough of that to take most of the day. Also other cleaning and straightening of course.

My “carrot” today is probably making cherry muffins.  The plan was that I’d clean the new to us appliance, but it’s outside and as it’s raining, that’s off the list right now.

Also have some accounting to do for the biz. All this moving things around unearthed some of the missing booth stock and it needs to be tallied. The notebook data spreadsheet needs to be updated afterwards. Again, not much, but vital.

The bed could use clean sheets too. I was going to maybe haul the sheets and some other stuff downtown to the laundromat and put them in a bleach load. However, maybe I’ll just put them in the wash here and put them back on the bed. I can do that while I’m doing something else, so the sheets will likely get cleaned.

We bought a new ladder yesterday. Huzzah! Something light enough that I can haul it around and it feels SOLID. The platform ladder I’d been using on its highest setting kept settling, scary if you’re standing on it. It is now an outside ladder. The new ladder is the inside ladder.

I need to go do something more productive than write about what I need to do!


Because I’ve Been Paying Attention

recently, I noticed last night and remembered this morning that I’d woken up two or three times during the night.


My intention is to track my sleep habits and see if I can’t somehow make a correlation between what I’m doing in my sleep and what I do during the day. It’s a piece of data, hopefully the end of the string, which may help me figure out wtf it is about cleaning the house that punches my buttons so!

The Hoarders show is deceptive. At the end of the episodes, the text or something tells you that person Z has seen Dr X and now all is well. This makes it look like a shrink is the universal solvent or something. They’re not. The victim/focus of the show is the actual hero there.

However, that said, I’ve been under a therapists’ care in one form or the other for most of my life. If therapy was truly the answer, it should have taken by now, don’t you think?

I couldn’t deal with the hoarding issue at all before I dealt with the PTSD/abuse issues. Fine. But for the past 4 years I’ve been trying to undo this emotional snarl and the house mess. Like everything the success comes and goes. So, again,  I need to track both my successes and try and figure out wtf the problem is.

Ideas or suggestions are welcome! All I can do is keep plugging away at it, ripping the scab off the wound I said in an earlier post. Just keep on going.



The short wall in living room has been entirely sanded, tack clothed, and the knot holes painted. Hurrah! That wall will be painted with primer before I tackle the rest of the long living room wall. After that wall is cleaned, sanded, tack clothed, knot holes sealed and primered, we will go back and buy actual PAINT. Then the prepared walls will get painted and the room put back to rights.

Not half, but about 1/3 of the painting prep is done for the wood walls. The other walls won’t need as much prep, no sanding or knot sealing req’d, so those will go quick (at least by comparison).

Although yesterday I got a lot accomplished, sleep last night was fairly uninterrupted, only woke up once that I know of. Not bad for me these days! 5/30

Last night was the same as the night prior. I woke up knowing I’d been awake at least once, briefly in the night, but I don’t remember it. Rolled out of bed early for me, 5 a.m.



Yesterday, my helper and I cleared out an area in one corner of the living room. The walls are going to be painted.

  1. Enough space needs to be cleared so we can get the platform ladder in there. CHECK!
  2. The wall needs to be wiped down, any cobwebs removed etc. CHECK!
  3. The wall needs to be lightly sanded. CHECK!
  4. The wall needs to be wiped down with a just damp rag as a “tack cloth” CHECK!
  5.  The knots in the wall need to be painted over with the “knot sealer.” CHECK

That was one short piece of the long log wall and a small piece of the smaller wall. Today I did the same thing on most of the smaller wall. Still to do: the area behind the green jelly cabinet (means the cabinet needs to be emptied, detached from the wall and moved. Also same thing has to happen over the door in the entry  [Check! 5/29/16] and behind the coat rack, also in the entry. [Behind the coat rack is a different surface!]

The knot sealer is just over the knots in the log wall. The walls look like an acne-ridden teenager, covered in Calamine spots. Little white dots all over the place. Himself looked at the two pieces of wall I did last night and said, “I guess we’re committed; we’re painting  the living room!”

Well, yes. We bought equipment, fancy primer and fancy knot sealer to do the job. We were talking about buying a new platform ladder, but I wanted to see how well the one we had would work. It works fine, it’s slightly wobbly, which isn’t so good, but height-wise, which is what concerned us, it’s fine. We may still buy the other because of the wobbling, but for right now, what we’ve got works.

So, what I did today? I woke up at 5 and after making myself some instant coffee and feeding the animals, I got to work.

  1. I hauled all the food and the bins off the door of the freezer. Food was eliminated, bins washed, the door washed and everything returned, tidy.
  2. By then, Himself was up and he was making “real” coffee, so I got out of his way. I went into the living room, cleaned and sanded the next piece of wall. The coffee ready, I went in to get some. Emptied the top shelf in the freezer, culled, labeled, repackaged, wall washed, etc. the top shelf in the freezer.
  3. Returned to the living room, painted the knots on the cleaned wall, moved the platform ladder. Repeated that until behind the jelly cabinet and entry are all that remain on the front wall to prep for priming. (Also in here, removed cobwebs from the post and beam ceiling and swept the floor.)
  4. Went back to the kitchen and cleaned the 2nd and 3rd freezer shelves.
  5. Made soup from a package of green beans, some frozen chopped onion and the end of a package of sausage.
  6. We went to the dump, the first time, then the hardware store, the first time.
  7. Came home.
  8. Went to the dump and the hardware store, the 2nd and then turned right around and I went back a 3rd time. (I’d wanted to buy more freezer containers, and I’d forgotten that!)
  9. We went to the heavy duty hardware store and the supermarket .
  10. Came home. Wound the hose around the new hose reel. Moved the chairs to make the grouping I had in mind. (The new reel is in a seat or side table, matches outdoor chairs we already had,. I hadn’t gotten them out for the season, yet.)

I have essentially two more small areas to prep/knot paint, but no energy to tackle emptying the green jelly cabinet, unbolting it from the wall, cleaning,  doing the paint thing then putting it back — that’s tomorrow.

I DO have to do two things tonight: finish cleaning out the freezer (the CSA starts Tuesday next week!) and clean the kitchen, which is a LARGE disaster.

We had fruit smoothies for dinner: frozen fruit, yogurt and milk.Not too sweet, used up one container of frozen fruit. Given that it’s 89 degrees right now, this might not be the most nutritious dinner in the world, but it seemed just right to us!

Happy Memorial Day Weekend.

(I avoided one of my favorite seasonal sales, yesterday. Less stuff — good idea, eh?)

For some reason — I’m tired!




Last year? Two years ago maybe? I was purging the house really well, but I also had a hair-trigger temper and was raging at my husband.

Stopped purging and I stopped raging.

This time, because of my past reactions, I’ve gotten help.5-6 hours a week. Shouldn’t be a big deal. Yes, I got rid of 1,000 books in between 4/16 and 5/15, but again, you can’t really tell, so shouldn’t be a problem, right?

Except that increasingly in the past week or two, I’ve been waking up in the middle of the night, gasping — heart pounding. I roll over and go back to sleep. Has been happening over and over and over, for a while now.

So I was talking about my lousy sleep habits with some one and they said, “Well, you’re giving up the dream of the bookstore.”

True, but I’ve been doing that for 12 years now.

“You’re getting rid of books, which has to be hard.”

Also true. Books came into my childhood home and stayed — forever. It is rather like throwing away my family. When I connected those dots, the next night I didn’t sleep until after 3 a.m. Great.

I have to do this. I know that creating a clean/tidy space stresses me. What I don’t know is the why the severity? Why panic?

There’s the obvious: my stuff wasn’t mine. I had no sanctity, privacy, assurance that people would respect any boundaries with me at all. My clothes, toys, tools, appliances, anything was subject to others taking them, breaking them, removing them or whatever they wanted to do.

I don’t understand the panic — I never have. It stopped me, for decades. I’m determined it won’t this time. But I just don’t get it. If I knew what it was based on, I could work on it; I would. But I have no idea. All I can do is keep ripping the top off the scab and try not to let it get to me too much. Not very satisfactory, but without data, without the “why” that’s all I know I can do, except for two things: ask for help and slow down. I’ve done the former.  I’m sick of doing the latter, although I have changed things a bit. The “great book purge” has slowed down.

We’ll see. I really want to be free of my crappy childhood by the end of the year this year!


Second Major Milestone and Areas of Concentration

The kitchen is CLEAN and getting cleaner, pretty much daily. We’ve had the usual spring ant invasion, we get two kinds: carpenter ants and sugar ants. I used the invasion as an “excuse” to clean the kitchen well and keep it that way. Hopefully, this will continue.

Today my helper is coming. We haven’t worked for a couple of weeks. I have 2-3 areas to work on: my desk, the laundry room and the hearth area.

Lots to do, and not much time!

This a.m. I started entering the accounting book data. I have the pieces I’d bought Weds. scattered on my desk, waiting to be priced and put back in the car ready to go to the antique store.

Also, next week, the stuff starts going, I hope, to the new booth! That will clean out a large part of this place!.

Yesterday? Yesterday we got rid of the folding pegboard screen, made from 3 4×8 sheets of pegboard. I hope my friend uses it in good health! Too big/heavy for me to move by myself and a PITA in the storage unit. It’s gone.


Today I busted a kid’s book that I’d bought for that purpose. The color illus. will go to the new booth as well. Getting there, getting there.

This doesn’t look anything like my kitchen, although I may use it as an inspiration perhaps? I like the calm of the grey and my varnished wood cabinets neet to be painted. I’d been thinking white, but wondering about the upkeep. Grey would not be a bad choice I think maybe? Definite maybe there!


grey kitchen