When I Grow Up, I’ll . . .

Odd, at 60? to be in the position to think this, but that’s pretty much where I am.

I spent so much time/life energy fighting the pain, the crapola that came with the abuse, the neglect, the PTSD that resulted from that, yada yada. So, essentially, I’m done. Yeah, I have the house to finish, the memoir to finish, etc. but it’s details.

For DECADES I’ve put aside things, put them off. I couldn’t keep the pain at bay, couldn’t deal with  the intensity, couldn’t cope if I let myself get heavily involved in anything other than my…self. Now I don’t need that.

Do I want to go to school? Learn to sew? Try again to write a novel?

The only “goals” I can see are ephemeral, not concrete: be happy, stay in the light, flourish, be creative, and grow.

Hard to schedule THOSE classes!

I’ll think on it!

J

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One response to “When I Grow Up, I’ll . . .

  1. My word for the year is Reboot. I have 2 years more of boys probably, then my life is my own again. So, what should I do when I grow up? I am trying to be more creative, mostly planner related. Damian and I are doing collages…I am doing vision boards he is doing whatever. My vision is lacking focus so it is all over the place, but I can’t narrow if I don’t start somewhere.

    We are and always will be Cousins….

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