Let’s see. What’s new with me is that I have beat the shame and got the PTSD under control. So, is my house clean?

Well, no. Cleaner, yes. Clean? Not yet. I still have safety issues to deal with. I’m certain they’re related to the PTSD. I have been doing my “surface cleaning” thing since the end of July. As I said, the house is cleaner, if not exactly clean. I figured out not too long ago that my problem wasn’t being disorganized or unwilling to clean, it’s just that there’s too much stuff here, still!

And although I find it frustrating when I can’t find a book I know I own, I’m still reluctant to purge stuff. Why, I’m not sure. Doesn’t matter. We have company coming for brunch on Sunday. I want my house clean. These are folks who know us, if the house won’t pass a white glove inspection (it won’t) or it’s cluttered, that’s not going to change their mind about us. I know that. Still, I’ve been whacking away at cleaning the house for the past two weeks, off and on.

The first few days were easy. But for some reason cleaning the big rooms is harder? Don’t know why. I’ll figure it out. Maybe because it’s hard to see the end in a quick bite? Like I said, I don’t know.

The only big cleaning revelation I’ve had in the past week or so is realizing that I purely HATE doing large loads of dishes after I eat. I want to sit and relax. So, the answer is to take the time (and there’s almost always some) when things are cooking and do most of the dishes and clean up then. Then after eating all I have to do is wipe down counters and wash the few dishes we ate from, and I don’t mind that so much I won’t do it. This means the kitchen is staying cleaner, longer. Yay!!!

The data that filter down this way are few and far between. I wish this process was faster, but then I wish most of my healing was faster too.

So I’m working on it! More to do, more to do, more . . . . (repeat, for a very long time).



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