Didn’t get anything done yesterday,

well, I did, but not on the cards.

When I said this: “The excess stuff & mess were also ways of appearing incompetent and nonthreatening — camouflage.” I was talking about my family. The two “kids” near my age are both 10+ years older than I. One of them has still got sibling rivalry problems, overtly. The other doesn’t acknowledge they have any fallout from their youth, so nothing overt. The latter is the person who called Sunday.

Okay. My total reaction was predictable, numb hiding and then incompetency. I didn’t really think about either, but it’s what I’ve always done when I felt assaulted. I “go away” somehow, then make myself not a “target” that is, incompetent or non-threatening.

So.

Okay, time for me to get MAD. Two or three other points: 1)I’ve sat at the computer so much the past few days my back isn’t happy. 2)I have gotten some things done. This is another piece of the “broken” yardstick. My really old pattern was to read and do nothing else at all. But I managed cooking, some gardening, and some cleaning, just not what I was trying for. I need to give myself credit for that, but I need to get back on track too!

J

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2 responses to “Didn’t get anything done yesterday,

  1. “But I managed cooking, some gardening, and some cleaning, just not what I was trying for.”

    That sounds like a great day, actually. I would count it as a win.

    • Well, thanks! It wasn’t a total loss, but I didn’t get mad and get all the other stuff I wanted to done either. This is one difference between me-now and me-then, When things aren’t good, I’ll manage to get things done now, just not as much as what I do when things are good.

      Thanks!
      J

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