Completely overbooked, like everyone else I know — that’s me.
- If I work on the de-hoarding the house/cleaning stuff I have no time to work on the writing/editing the books in process.
- If I work on the writing, the house work doesn’t get clean.
- If I catalog the books, etc. that de-hoard the house, the cleaning doesn’t get done.
- If I work on the garden, nothing gets done IN the house.
- And if I do any/all of this, I don’t write blogs!
I keep running into the same limitations: my physical limits, time, resources, bad habits, and emotional crap. I hate problems where you don’t know what you don’t know, so you can’t solve them, but this is almost as bad. I know what I need to do, just that there’s so f’n MUCH of it that no matter what I do, for however long, it means that something else doesn’t get done. I need to drag the cards out, again and just let myself clean for 2-3 hours a day, add 1 hour for gardening (or 2) and then spend the rest of the day on the computer, writing/editing books/blogs, and cataloging books/stuff to go away the rest of the time.
Part of the appeal of the gardening is that I can see the results of my work: seeds sprout, garden beds are weeded, the lawn mowed, the wood pile straightened up, etc. It’s tangible. The house stuff is so overwhelming that no matter what I do, you can’t tell, mostly because it causes a huge mess somewhere else. DH is going to a city with a thrift shop tomorrow. I should give him a BIG bag o’ stuff to take with him. Not likely to happen as it’s 1 am and I haven’t been to sleep yet, and he’ll leave early. (See limitation #1 above.)
The cleaned up areas in the house don’t affect me the same way the garden does. That is, seeing someplace clean in the house doesn’t make me as happy as a cleaned up area in the garden. Partly because the cleaned up areas in the house don’t grow anything and partly just because they’re static when they’re clean — a stage setting for whatever — static. Nothing grows, next to nothing changes, and when you use it, it’s messed up again. Tending the garden makes me happy — hoeing weeds, picking stones, planting things, because I’m nurturing growing things, plants.
And I guess then that it’s totally obvious that in my house I’m not nurturing anything. What a damning testament! I’d feel guilty if it was something I chose to do, but it’s just the way I’ve always viewed my living space. It’s a storage facility.
I need a baby step in a new direction.
I’m working on the garden in sort of three-fold plan…this year I’m planning on doing at least 2 crops. For example, I bought pea plants and planted pea seed and fava beans at the same time. The plants I bought will come out, the 2nd peas (from seed) will be yielding, and the favas will fill in the space where the 1st peas were. But in the next few years, I’m thinking about a garden business thing. I don’t know if that will work or not yet, but I’m considering it.
So, I’m working on making what I grow more productive and possibly a business. I’m nurturing more plants in the garden, to nurture us more, both nutritionally and financially.
A large part of the stuff in the house is the remainder of a failed business, my book shop. A lot of it, cataloging and selling things for mostly less than I paid for them, over and over again, I just find depressing — it’s a continual reminder that I failed, expensively, and it’s still costing us money. And the job is also repeteteve and boring.
The last time I got really excited about the house/cleaning the house was when we did the great office/living room move in October last year and the next 2 months of moving things around in my office so I could use it. There’s less stuff in DH’s office, but mine is now completely filled. You can’t walk to my counter, you have to walk over piles of stuff to get there.
The next step is to get the prototype bookcase from the laundry room into the living room, the white bookcase out of DH’s office, the teak bookcase that’s waiting in the hallway into DH’s office (replacing the white one). None of those are easy. If we get the prototype bookcase into the living room, then we can do what it was made for, that is, see if the concept will work. If it does? DH buys decent plywood and makes bookcases, which I fill. (Which will unclog my office & the attic some.)
I can clean up the area in front of the white bookcase tomorrow (today) and get DH to buy some more book boxes to store the books in the case tomorrow. If I empty it, then I can haul it to the antique store to sell. Or just use it there. This job will probably take me my entire cleaning allotment (2-3 hours above), but it maybe, just maybe will break the log jam!
P.S. I also have an appt Tues. with the tax person, so no matter what I have to work on the taxes tomorrow/today too!