I get to paint, well, paint with primer, the corner I started with the other day! Also I need to finish the freezer clean out. The food is culled, but I dropped the ball at the end, need to wipe down the walls, arrange the food neatly on the bottom shelf and in the bins. Not much, but it wasn’t *finished* either.

And of course I should then start the refrigerator clean out. Maybe I will or maybe I won’t . . .? Have work things to do, actually have enough of that to take most of the day. Also other cleaning and straightening of course.

My “carrot” today is probably making cherry muffins.  The plan was that I’d clean the new to us appliance, but it’s outside and as it’s raining, that’s off the list right now.

Also have some accounting to do for the biz. All this moving things around unearthed some of the missing booth stock and it needs to be tallied. The notebook data spreadsheet needs to be updated afterwards. Again, not much, but vital.

The bed could use clean sheets too. I was going to maybe haul the sheets and some other stuff downtown to the laundromat and put them in a bleach load. However, maybe I’ll just put them in the wash here and put them back on the bed. I can do that while I’m doing something else, so the sheets will likely get cleaned.

We bought a new ladder yesterday. Huzzah! Something light enough that I can haul it around and it feels SOLID. The platform ladder I’d been using on its highest setting kept settling, scary if you’re standing on it. It is now an outside ladder. The new ladder is the inside ladder.

I need to go do something more productive than write about what I need to do!


Because I’ve Been Paying Attention

recently, I noticed last night and remembered this morning that I’d woken up two or three times during the night.


My intention is to track my sleep habits and see if I can’t somehow make a correlation between what I’m doing in my sleep and what I do during the day. It’s a piece of data, hopefully the end of the string, which may help me figure out wtf it is about cleaning the house that punches my buttons so!

The Hoarders show is deceptive. At the end of the episodes, the text or something tells you that person Z has seen Dr X and now all is well. This makes it look like a shrink is the universal solvent or something. They’re not. The victim/focus of the show is the actual hero there.

However, that said, I’ve been under a therapists’ care in one form or the other for most of my life. If therapy was truly the answer, it should have taken by now, don’t you think?

I couldn’t deal with the hoarding issue at all before I dealt with the PTSD/abuse issues. Fine. But for the past 4 years I’ve been trying to undo this emotional snarl and the house mess. Like everything the success comes and goes. So, again,  I need to track both my successes and try and figure out wtf the problem is.

Ideas or suggestions are welcome! All I can do is keep plugging away at it, ripping the scab off the wound I said in an earlier post. Just keep on going.



The short wall in living room has been entirely sanded, tack clothed, and the knot holes painted. Hurrah! That wall will be painted with primer before I tackle the rest of the long living room wall. After that wall is cleaned, sanded, tack clothed, knot holes sealed and primered, we will go back and buy actual PAINT. Then the prepared walls will get painted and the room put back to rights.

Not half, but about 1/3 of the painting prep is done for the wood walls. The other walls won’t need as much prep, no sanding or knot sealing req’d, so those will go quick (at least by comparison).

Although yesterday I got a lot accomplished, sleep last night was fairly uninterrupted, only woke up once that I know of. Not bad for me these days! 5/30



Yesterday, my helper and I cleared out an area in one corner of the living room. The walls are going to be painted.

  1. Enough space needs to be cleared so we can get the platform ladder in there. CHECK!
  2. The wall needs to be wiped down, any cobwebs removed etc. CHECK!
  3. The wall needs to be lightly sanded. CHECK!
  4. The wall needs to be wiped down with a just damp rag as a “tack cloth” CHECK!
  5.  The knots in the wall need to be painted over with the “knot sealer.” CHECK

That was one short piece of the long log wall and a small piece of the smaller wall. Today I did the same thing on most of the smaller wall. Still to do: the area behind the green jelly cabinet (means the cabinet needs to be emptied, detached from the wall and moved. Also same thing has to happen over the door in the entry  [Check! 5/29/16] and behind the coat rack, also in the entry. [Behind the coat rack is a different surface!]

The knot sealer is just over the knots in the log wall. The walls look like an acne-ridden teenager, covered in Calamine spots. Little white dots all over the place. Himself looked at the two pieces of wall I did last night and said, “I guess we’re committed; we’re painting  the living room!”

Well, yes. We bought equipment, fancy primer and fancy knot sealer to do the job. We were talking about buying a new platform ladder, but I wanted to see how well the one we had would work. It works fine, it’s slightly wobbly, which isn’t so good, but height-wise, which is what concerned us, it’s fine. We may still buy the other because of the wobbling, but for right now, what we’ve got works.

So, what I did today? I woke up at 5 and after making myself some instant coffee and feeding the animals, I got to work.

  1. I hauled all the food and the bins off the door of the freezer. Food was eliminated, bins washed, the door washed and everything returned, tidy.
  2. By then, Himself was up and he was making “real” coffee, so I got out of his way. I went into the living room, cleaned and sanded the next piece of wall. The coffee ready, I went in to get some. Emptied the top shelf in the freezer, culled, labeled, repackaged, wall washed, etc. the top shelf in the freezer.
  3. Returned to the living room, painted the knots on the cleaned wall, moved the platform ladder. Repeated that until behind the jelly cabinet and entry are all that remain on the front wall to prep for priming. (Also in here, removed cobwebs from the post and beam ceiling and swept the floor.)
  4. Went back to the kitchen and cleaned the 2nd and 3rd freezer shelves.
  5. Made soup from a package of green beans, some frozen chopped onion and the end of a package of sausage.
  6. We went to the dump, the first time, then the hardware store, the first time.
  7. Came home.
  8. Went to the dump and the hardware store, the 2nd and then turned right around and I went back a 3rd time. (I’d wanted to buy more freezer containers, and I’d forgotten that!)
  9. We went to the heavy duty hardware store and the supermarket .
  10. Came home. Wound the hose around the new hose reel. Moved the chairs to make the grouping I had in mind. (The new reel is in a seat or side table, matches outdoor chairs we already had,. I hadn’t gotten them out for the season, yet.)

I have essentially two more small areas to prep/knot paint, but no energy to tackle emptying the green jelly cabinet, unbolting it from the wall, cleaning,  doing the paint thing then putting it back — that’s tomorrow.

I DO have to do two things tonight: finish cleaning out the freezer (the CSA starts Tuesday next week!) and clean the kitchen, which is a LARGE disaster.

We had fruit smoothies for dinner: frozen fruit, yogurt and milk.Not too sweet, used up one container of frozen fruit. Given that it’s 89 degrees right now, this might not be the most nutritious dinner in the world, but it seemed just right to us!

Happy Memorial Day Weekend.

(I avoided one of my favorite seasonal sales, yesterday. Less stuff — good idea, eh?)

For some reason — I’m tired!




Last year? Two years ago maybe? I was purging the house really well, but I also had a hair-trigger temper and was raging at my husband.

Stopped purging and I stopped raging.

This time, because of my past reactions, I’ve gotten help.5-6 hours a week. Shouldn’t be a big deal. Yes, I got rid of 1,000 books in between 4/16 and 5/15, but again, you can’t really tell, so shouldn’t be a problem, right?

Except that increasingly in the past week or two, I’ve been waking up in the middle of the night, gasping — heart pounding. I roll over and go back to sleep. Has been happening over and over and over, for a while now.

So I was talking about my lousy sleep habits with some one and they said, “Well, you’re giving up the dream of the bookstore.”

True, but I’ve been doing that for 12 years now.

“You’re getting rid of books, which has to be hard.”

Also true. Books came into my childhood home and stayed — forever. It is rather like throwing away my family. When I connected those dots, the next night I didn’t sleep until after 3 a.m. Great.

I have to do this. I know that creating a clean/tidy space stresses me. What I don’t know is the why the severity? Why panic?

There’s the obvious: my stuff wasn’t mine. I had no sanctity, privacy, assurance that people would respect any boundaries with me at all. My clothes, toys, tools, appliances, anything was subject to others taking them, breaking them, removing them or whatever they wanted to do.

I don’t understand the panic — I never have. It stopped me, for decades. I’m determined it won’t this time. But I just don’t get it. If I knew what it was based on, I could work on it; I would. But I have no idea. All I can do is keep ripping the top off the scab and try not to let it get to me too much. Not very satisfactory, but without data, without the “why” that’s all I know I can do, except for two things: ask for help and slow down. I’ve done the former.  I’m sick of doing the latter, although I have changed things a bit. The “great book purge” has slowed down.

We’ll see. I really want to be free of my crappy childhood by the end of the year this year!


Second Major Milestone and Areas of Concentration

The kitchen is CLEAN and getting cleaner, pretty much daily. We’ve had the usual spring ant invasion, we get two kinds: carpenter ants and sugar ants. I used the invasion as an “excuse” to clean the kitchen well and keep it that way. Hopefully, this will continue.

Today my helper is coming. We haven’t worked for a couple of weeks. I have 2-3 areas to work on: my desk, the laundry room and the hearth area.

Lots to do, and not much time!

This a.m. I started entering the accounting book data. I have the pieces I’d bought Weds. scattered on my desk, waiting to be priced and put back in the car ready to go to the antique store.

Also, next week, the stuff starts going, I hope, to the new booth! That will clean out a large part of this place!.

Yesterday? Yesterday we got rid of the folding pegboard screen, made from 3 4×8 sheets of pegboard. I hope my friend uses it in good health! Too big/heavy for me to move by myself and a PITA in the storage unit. It’s gone.


Today I busted a kid’s book that I’d bought for that purpose. The color illus. will go to the new booth as well. Getting there, getting there.

This doesn’t look anything like my kitchen, although I may use it as an inspiration perhaps? I like the calm of the grey and my varnished wood cabinets neet to be painted. I’d been thinking white, but wondering about the upkeep. Grey would not be a bad choice I think maybe? Definite maybe there!


grey kitchen

More Bunnies? Chickens? Eggs? Egg Cartons?

dust bunny from google images

I started using the new vac. I will say that although it is pretty big it works really well. Got rid of lots o’ dust and dust bunnies. Now I have to figure out how to clean its hepa filter and clean it, then put it away.

But that’s a detail.

Today I’m taking the drawer unit to the antique store and heading to the store where I’ll be getting the new booth. I have to finish the journals I have in process and buy more to do. (To sell them.) That means a significant clearing of the space where I’d been crafting, which needs to happen anyway! [Note: 5/20/16: haven’t gotten the drawers to the antique store, yet, sigh.]

DH figured out a solution for a problem using materials we already have, a total win-win! Less stuff, and a problem solved at the same time. Love it when that happens!😀

On other fronts, I’m not sure how I’m going to do the accounting this year. The software I’ve used for years had gone from “buy an upgrade, and use it” to “buy an upgrade, use it, and pay us a monthly fee,” which is completely against my long-term retirement planning. I am desperately trying to get us OUT of monthly payments, for ANYTHING, not acquire more. Reasonable? Yes, the price is, but the mechanism isn’t something I want.

I’ve been using a notebook. It’s small enough I can throw it in a box, but that’s an issue as it’s too small to comfortably do the accounting in. I’ll figure something out, but haven’t yet. This issue became obvious in April.

The computer I have worked on for years is dying, slowly. The software I’ve been using and wants the new, monthly fee will not run on my new machine. After I got the 2015 taxes done I decided I had to come up with another way. I’m used to being able to select a range of dates and say “find” and that quick I’ve got my sales for the month or year. Doesn’t happen that way with paper records. I need to make myself a spread sheet, or something. I may just go out and buy another Halls book. Used them for years when I had the store, works, but a spreadsheet would work too, and it doesn’t cost anything!

baby chick from google images

Cheap, cheap, cheap — I know — I’ve been working at saving money for a long time now!

I’m also a birdbrain.  When I had the store and had people coming in all day to talk to me, 1,000 things going on at once, I needed that book. I’m just ADD enough that without one place to put things I was a wreck.

My preferred way to track things is sort of a narrative diary for the days I do things related to the business. Since I work at home most often these days, that’s possible. It’s part of my adaptation to the no more data base software too. I’m going back to my business diary. (I also use an online calendar.) [Note: 5/20/16: Because I thought I’d lost the accounting book recently, I started this a.m. to do the spreadsheet. Overdue, but well, it’s getting there!]

For the tidying, I’ve been using egg cartons to hold the little bits & pieces which need to be put away. [This is nuts, bolts, beads, pins, etc.] I didn’t have a good way to do that. The small pieces would get put in a box, and disappear, only to reappear, later, still not put away.

Sometime, eventually — all these small, concerted efforts, the egg of my neat house will hatch into a neat, tidy and cozy home — right?




Friday & Yesterday We Bought Stuff, but . . .

Today, we’re culling.

Friday we went to a local kitchen supply store who’s going out of business and got some yougurt jars and other small tools. Yesterday we got some tools for the new vac, sandpaper, primer, paint, and lastly, 2 old drawers, a heater and a cabinet at ReStore

This was more than we planned to buy.

Today, we pulled some things out of the attic: a wicker laundry hamper, 2 mounted shop lights, a book, an orange juicer (broken),  a heater (was replaced by the new to us one from ReStore). DH culled some other misc. hardware. I offered someone our old yogurt maker.

DH pulled some excess luggage out of where we store that: 2 ski boot bags (bought to transport books to shows) 1 duffel (bought when we were dating!) and a computer bag (I kept it for a swim bag instead). A tool bag (my old swim bag) will go to the antique shop. That is/will be 4 pieces of luggage out of here!

In other words, the great purge continues. Yes, we’ve bought stuff, but we’re both working at the cull. There’s a box o’ books waiting to go to the antique store as well. Four books sold out of the booth a couple of days after I put them out the new batch last Weds. I’m not surprised, the books are goodies and I’m pricing them dead cheap. If book people get the idea, some people are going to get some great deals.

We sold the mermite container  I put out in March. Huzzah! (The post where I talked about this is from March 2nd. (Sorry tried to include a link; that rarely works for me, didn’t this time either!)

The drawer unit which the new cabinet replaces is slated for the antique store too. The cabinet it displaces will go into the attic. Don’t expect we’ll get much for the drawer unit, but it should sell quickly if priced correctly.

We’re off to the dump!

We took the base of the last spinner to the dump last weekend. Also, I’m slowly but surely emptying out the outdoor trash cans. These get full in the fall and then sit all winter, and frankly I forget about them. I’m determined we’re going to use them again, year ’round. I want to not have a large trash can in the kitchen! First they need to be emptied and cleaned.