New Living Room

The plan for this week is to finish the revamping of the living room. For one thing, someone is coming to work on the house next week and I’d like it done before that. For another, it seems like I can work on this without issues.

Part of this will require work in the kitchen/dining room too. There’s a new dresser (well, new to us) going in the living room. The table that is sitting where that’s supposed to go has to be emptied and moved. The only sane place to move it is the kitchen. There’s currently no room in the kitchen, sooooo…. you do the math, right?

That means this morning, although it seems contrary, what I will do is work on the kitchen/dining area to get the living room finished!

Move the empty hole around some more, and make it bigger I hope!

(No image this time, sorry. Went to find one, couldn’t find one with books that worked. The only thing close is tagged as a living room, but looks like a retail counter to me! I don’t live in a retail store anymore, or I’m trying mightily NOT to!)

Memoir, Update

The publisher, a few months ago (?) sent me a pdf of my memoir. Great! It’s going to be a real book — HURRAH!

But you can’t edit pdfs. So, I sent him a note, how did he want changes noted, etc. and never got an answer.

There’s a convention in a few weeks where Ill probably see him. I should be able to get an answer in person. Then, maybe, it will get to be a real book people can buy.

A mutual friend, an author, volunteered to write a blurb. I sent him a note. Nada.

It is NOT a memoir; it’s a black hole. This happened a lot when people were reading it. I do NOT know wtf I wrote that makes people think I can’t take whatever they’re likely to say about the thing. I keep telling people I’m twitchy about the events but not the black squiggles which describe them. I have paid 3 people to edit the thing.

Maybe I just give up?

I don’t know.

J

To the Walls!

It’s Christmas bread day. That means I’ll bake 12 loaves of bread today before I’m done.

But of course, that involves more than just baking a dozen loaves of bread. It involves the annual sterilization of the kitchen as well. The oven was cleaned yesterday. The stove top and the side of the kitchen where the stove is, about 1/2 the counter space, has been done. I”m taking a break before I tackle the other half. This afternoon, or right around noon I predict I’ll actually start making up bread.

But this happens first!

My long-term goal for this particular job is to have it done TWO days before Christmas (or more) and freeze the bread. Then call the neighbors and have them come and get their portion, probably while also supplying cider, coffee, cookies or ? But that’s a goal for a future time. Right now, I just have to finish the “sterilize the kitchen” portion so I can get the first batch of 4 loaves into the oven.

Photo by Cesar Carlevarino Aragon on Unsplash

 

I am proud of myself. I found a way to use up a stash of scrapbooking paper and some silver cord for the tags. Yay! Less stuff, money spent? $0! Less to store and frugality observed — all good.

Happy holidays!

J

Intersections!

I find myself these days watching and reading things related to:

• Permaculture
• Minimalism
• RV or van living

Permaculture started because David Holmgren was wondering what the interrelationships were between three things:

1. landscape architecture
2. ecology
3. agriculture

After discovering that, it occurred to me that I’m not really interested only in any of the 3 things I first listed, but the intersections between THEM.

So, I made the chart below in an effort to understand what it was they have in common and what they do NOT!

	Permaculture	Minimalism	RV/Van LIving
Mobile?	No	Possibly	Yes                         An emphasis of this life
Less Stuff?	Possibly             More reuse/eco friendly and multi- uses	Yes                         An emphasis of this life	Yes               Mandated by space limitations
DIY Food?	Yes                   An emphasis of this life	Possibly	No                     Space limitations again
Less Commercial reliance?	Yes	Yes	Yes
Fewer Support Systems?	Possibly	Possibly	Possibly
Lower Costs?	Possibly	Possibly	Possibly

What does this mean, exactly? I guess I’m ready to become a hippy of some sort. As usual, the first step is to continue to get rid of a lot of “things.” And, considering the discussions we’ve been having about aging in place, it seems more likely we’ll end up permaculturists with a possible minimalist bent?

I don’t know of course, but it has been an interesting exploration, trying to find what it is that all of these have which appeals to me so!

Photo by Tania Malréchauffé on Unsplash

Realization

I realized yesterday that I have been in survival mode for much of the past 2 months. I have good reasons for this, but it isn’t all that productive!

What I do, and I’ve only just really understood what this is, is the minimum. Minimal cleaning, self-care, progress on projects, etc. It’s an emotional shutting down and awaiting the next blow. It’s pulling inward and freeing up emotional resources.

This makes sense if you’re a child dealing with the last and anticipating the next emotional/abusive attack. It doesn’t in an adult woman! And, as I said, I’ve only just realized I do this. I shut down everything that isn’t essential. Makes getting work done difficult: work for others, work for myself, or work on projects of any kind.

As a semi-healed adult, not dealing with abuse, this is probably the worst thing I can do. At the very time I need the distraction and pride of accomplishment, I stop doing the chores which would give me both.

Okay. I’ve gotten to step 2.

• Step 1 is acknowledging there’s a problem.
• Step 2 is understanding the nature/history of the problem.
• Step 3 is formulating a possible solution.
• Step 4 is implementing the solution.
• Step 5 is giving myself credit for the change and trying to continue making the change until it’s habitualized and/or a part of my regular life responses.

Step 3 will be harder, because I don’t know what triggers this or accordingly how to either monitor for it or stop the reaction.

I’m not beating myself up about it, the 5 steps are how I’ve moved away from the abuse and my reactions to it for decades. It works. Just sometimes it’s incredibly, frustratingly

s-l-o-w !

Photo by STIL on Unsplash

My Life, These Days…

Is filled with caretaking, deadlines, and other things out of my control!

So

This is Monday, the day I’m supposed to do 6 areas of my house (it’s 5 Tues – Fri). I don’t know if I’ll make it back into this, but the chaos created by the oncoming winter, DH’s injury, visitors, etc. means that I need some kind of plan.

And since I spent a long time devising that one, I think I’ll try and pick it up again.

We’ll see how it works?

One thing really did come of the 90 challenge I set myself and that was the end (apparently) of the panic attacks. If that’s true? I can’t tell you what a relief it is!

J